Welcome to Me - A memoir for Alice

Welcome to Me is a snapshot in the life of Alice (well-played by Kristin Wiig, a comedic actress who's more recent turns in dramatic roles have showcased her range), a woman diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder who wins $86 million in the CA lottery. The remainder of the film follows her as she uses her winnings to pay for her own talk show (modeled after her obsession, Oprah) and subsequent issues and oddities arise. We are hurriedly thrown into her world and only able to catch a glimpse of her pre-lottery life if we're observant enough to notice the details - the hundreds of VHS recordings of Oprah episodes, the stacks and stacks of lottery tickets, the copy of O Magazine she keeps with her, her loyalty to a certain convenient store where the clerk knows her order so Alice doesn't even enter the building. 

Alice's show synonymous with the film is quirky and vulgar, but with rather matter-of-fact delivery. The financier of the show, she has the ability to do what she pleases (e.g. riding in on a swan boat or recounting her morning finding a stray pubic hair on her toilet seat).

The film has a very promising premise, yet lacks the depth such a subject requires. All of the relationships seem fairly superficial, even with her best (and only) friend who serves as only a listening board for Alice's problems. I'm surprised she stuck around as long as she did. Her 'lover' exists solely on a platonic level. Her gay ex-husband is the only person who actually has some level of concern and freely cares for her.

After the conclusion of her show, a letdown of a series finale, we leave Alice as she turns off her home TV - an action she has not performed in 17 years. Is she making a change? Is this a concrete conclusion or a hopeful attempt? With her 'lover's' gift, a personal camcorder, she once again has the camera turned onto herself. She as the subject of her own show and now as the protagonist of her own camera's recording, is what she has been the entire movie, the sole focus of her entire life.
 
Overall the film has good intentions, but it too rushed and lacks emotional depth. Welcome to Me is too short a film to create any investment in the characters or the story line. Alice's moments of struggle are acted superbly, but just because she is crying, doesn't mean I care to react. B-

Poison - RITA ORA (or DKNY...?)

Had to watch this video twice to find any depth. First go-round I couldn't get past the ridiculous product placements, but also how much the video resembled a DKNY photo shoot. If you know, Rita has been the face of DKNY since late 2013. I would not be surprised if the entirety of the wardrobe choices (both male and female) were of Donna Karan design. What better way to advertise your brand than exploiting your star representative's talent? How can we stretch this song to make it fit into a promotional video for our brand rather than the other way around? It more closely resembles an extended commercial than an artist's music video.

The rumored interpretation is a far stretch from its vanity. We know she's beautiful. Rita Ora is gorgeous. However, we don't need a close to 5-minute video reaffirming this observation.

She's clad in beautiful get-ups and shown getting her make-up done for photo shoot after photo shoot rising to the climax - a launch gala. It isn't until the bridge of the song when we see her 'really' struggle. Until this point we've seen her emotions rise from confusion to wonder to excitement and happiness. Pause the music. Enter brunette old DKNY boyfriend (a near mirror-image of her new icy blonde photographer man). She wants him back. Can't have him with her new lifestyle. Finds life of photos and clothes unfulfilling. Naturally then, she's less clothed to reveal her perfect body (strip off the new and put on some of the old). And let's burn a photo or two to really hammer out the metaphors.

While the video has good intentions and is beautifully shot, there is still a veil of vanity that is difficult to pull away. Congratulations Rita, you've affirmed you're beautiful - though you didn't need to waste a perfectly decent song. B 

Bitch, I'm Madonna - and I'm Still Here

Not that I'm attempting to tackle this whole video in one post, Madonna's music video for "Bitch I'm Madonna" is a very enjoyable watch. Bright colors overload the video. Every frame perfectly accents Madge's punk studded pink leather jacket. With the initial promise of a pop song (featuring several of her pop predecessors), "Bitch" very quickly turns into a club ready hit. Add in Madonna's own Harajuku girls sans Gwen and you've got a little bit of a Tokyo Drift vibe.

Surrounded by peers young enough to be her children, Madonna manages to not look completely (her visible roots and pink ombre screaming "does this make me look two decades younger?") desperate for relevancy. You'll also never be able to forget her iconic gap. Whoever her team is has done a wonderful job with this video. I wish I could attend a party in this fantasy sugar world. Make out with hot guy. Make out with girl. Pour beer on random stairwell man. Party party party.

The last few seconds of rolling around on the floor were a bit confusing and ultimately superfluous. Why did we need to see her rolling around the floor in an oversized shirt? Was that an attempt to replicate a certain other Queen's video? No matter her age, she can still make a hit with a killer video.

A-

Favorite part: the two x-nippled girls in the bathtub and the subsequent dance sequence.